Last week on October 10th, in the year of 2015, the number 25 became my age status, based on sun revolution. That was a quarter of a century, which should’ve made me feel old even when the truth was I felt like 22. Aha.
This year was the best so far to the point that I’ve been in the closest relationship to my family and friends. I have the feeling that my connection to my family members, especially with my mom and dad, had become closer to the heart’s content. Maybe because this year might be the last year I’ve been living as a single and will hold a responsibility as a wife next year, insya Allah.
Some people said the checkpoint that makes the biggest change in our life is marriage (and might be since the few months before marriage). And that truly applied to me. Countless emotions take turns come to me, giving ups and downs to my recent life. But there are 2 predominant emotions that occupy my brain: gratitude and worries. I feel thankful everyday to Allah SWT as Allah pours me so much pleasure and amenities even if I did so many mistakes and sins (that also make me feel the greatest guilty), including the fact that Allah SWT was the one who gave me great family and friends around. On the other hand, the worries might come from satan, I supposed. The worry that I may not mature enough to get marry, that may be I’m not good enough for my future husband since I might be beyond his expectation, and the worry about my own family. But then again, Alhamdulillah Allah SWT always give me courage through his guidance and knowledge as well as the support from my family and friends, reminding me that there’s gonna be more to life instead of worrying things that may not be happen.
Aside from that, I’m truly happy and grateful that Allah SWT allows me to know him, the man that may be my future husband, and I wish he can be the one. I won’t introduce him before we officially get married, but I hope we can guide each other to Allah’s jannah. I won’t put expectation, but optimism that I would be by his side to support him, together building a what so called sakinah mawaddah warahmah family and get Allah SWT blessings in every our efforts. Please wish the best for us!
What about my own dream? I won’t enforce my dreams, either. I have gone through my deepest thoughts and set this: the only way to live my life to the fullest is not to fulfill all dreams, but to enjoy all the steps that we will go through to reach the dreams, and make sure that our dream will be beneficial to many people so it would be a noble success.
Recently, I’ve been reading the book written by my favorite journalist, Desi Anwar, titled “A Simple Life”. That made me realize that now I am 25 and certainly have to live that “simple life” afterwards. Some great ideas to live a meaningful life and to enjoy it that I will apply to my life are:
Status: still in progress. someone gave me little bamboo trees as birthday gift. I feel sorry that I won’t be able to protect it day and night and watering it religiously since I left them in my house in Jakarta, while I spend my weekdays in Bogor. But I always ready to watch it grow and when I’m home I’ll pour water and encouraging words onto it – I heard that if we talk to plants we can actually make them grow faster. And today I was overjoyed as I saw tiny green leaves are peeking at the top of the bamboo stalks. Yippie!
> Being a child and perpetual learner
Yes, I’ve been trying to act and think like a child for these couple of years (not childish, it’s a huge different). Trying to ask anything that I don’t know about, not pretending to know everything, not being judgmental, and keeping my curiosity alive. Thus it leads me to be a perpetual learner who always yearn studying as if I’m going to be tested tomorrow. For instance, now I’m still learning Japanese even if I don’t know when I’ll back to Japan, my second home.
> Keeping scrapbooks
This is the best idea! I never had a proper diary or memorabilia and soon I realize that I unfortunately have wasted great memories and journeys for the past 25 years! So I’m planning to reorganize my scattered memories into a scrapbook, starting from my journeys to Japan, great moments with family and friends, and soon my wedding and kids (Insya Allah)!
Ahhh what’s my hobby so far? I’ve been growing up with useless hobby, watching Korean drama, eh? My other long lost hobby is bicycling, since now I can’t be often cycling whenever and wherever I want. So, I’m raising a new hobby: coloring. It’s been very happening lately that there are coloring books for adults to relieve stress. I tried to color one page and it was satisfactory for me who don’t have a talent in art and limited sense of it. I’m still eager to continue this new hobby!
Okay, that was all for today, I won’t pour all my thoughts from my head here anyway!
Happy 25th birthday for me! Haha!